A slip into drama (again?)

I've been through a roller coaster of emotions in the past couple of years. You've probably heard the story from the lady next door, or the gossip guy upstairs. As long as I'm concerned, I don't have any concerns. Some of you have laughed a questionable laugh at me (ha-ha here's the laugh back with you). Some others, thankfully have stood beside me and embraced me with the warmest embrace a teddy bear could ever give. (Sincerely, bears are the most huggable looking creatures on earth, and teddy bears are the only huggable bears in case you still want to stay alive and unharmed after the hug. And who wants to die after a hug and unable to keep the memories of a beautiful warm hug. Pardon me, I do have issues with hugs, and bears)

And I have put my greatest effort to avoid all sorts of drama. This roller coaster ride has made me vulnerable, uh mentally- that was a bit hard to put up. I avoided tv romances, love stories, movies, unreasonable dramatic love songs such as -I'll catch a grenade for you-s, even Jane Austen and Bronte novels and any other forms of emotionally igniting pieces of arts and literature. I didn't want to hit myself and I was very aware of being highly protective towards my over sensitive mind. (and over sensitive lacrimal glands?). Some of those memories are too profound, some have been residing in my brain longer than anything I've read on a medical textbook. It was a bit tough to wipe them up like wiping a permanent board marker. It's not absolutely permanent, it just needs effort to erase.

I recently visited the lib again. It was unplanned, I went there to accompany a friend and when I got there I felt like borrowing something. To my surprise, my subconscious mind led me to pick Gabriel Garcia Marquez' Love in the Time of Cholera. Honestly, I think I'm just curious about this author, I've once read about him in wiki. And when I decided to borrow it, I didn't feel any kind of worry. I was not afraid anymore of reading romance or drama, however it would turn up in the end. I somehow feel that I have regained my strength. I remember I've already spotted the words unrequited love at the first sentence. But who knows, who knows, I don't even feel afraid.

I guess, time does heal a broken heart. 

Ambivalence.

Forgive me if I post too often, or if I will be posting very often in several days. I'm currently in a wobbly state of mind. Kind of like there's too much cs fluid in my cranium so my brain floats here and there and everywhere a lot lately (pardon me dude that statement lacked scientific basis-just a dumb saying). There's just too many things I have to say without anyone quite willing to hear. There are piles and arrays of thoughts and feelings in my head and I'm running out of idea to express them conveniently.

When I put it up in a crowded place, some cynical people will say "so what?" and I'll start feeling guilty for messing up their timeline. When I put it up in a not so crowded place, other sarcastic people will think I'm shouting for attention and start a confrontation. I finally hope this silent place is the safest hiding place, nobody cares to read, nobody cares to even peek. [Then who in the world am I writing this to? Aliens, probably ehh :/]

Here's a little soundtrack for tonight's post, also with a video link). This is my song of the week, and this one is my favorite version of the song.

~Vultures~

The John Mayer* Trio

Some of us, we're hardly ever here

The rest of us, we're born to disappear

How do I stop myself from being just a number

How will I hold my head to keep from going under

Down to the wire

I wanted water but I'll walk to the fire

If this is what it takes to take me even higher

Then I'll come through like I do when the world keeps testing me,

testing me

testing me.

Hope you enjoyed. 
*He's one awesome singer, songwriter (or poet?), and guitar player. And about the trio, they're tremendous!

Day 15.

Two weeks from the start of this semester. Contrary to my other colleagues who feels that this semester tends to be low paced and doesn't need as much struggle, I somehow think that this semester is a really tough one.

Last semester we had anatomy on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Histology on Weds and Fridays, so at least I get a day's rest for each subject. This semester? Biochem and Physiology everyday. Each subject gets a 2 hour non-stop lecture. Which means sitting down for a total of 4 hours.

Oh and what about the practicums? Well I have to admit that Anatomy practicums were absolutely torturing. Approximately three hours spent in a highly bio-hazardous environment with formalin vapor and cadavers which requires a highly protective (and definitely uncomfortable) attire: surgical masks and gloves. Histology was a bit cozier. Even though we had to roam around this crowded room in order to observe more slides. Both are totally leg-cramping lol. But at the very least they let you study the theory as well while doing the practicums. You don't work really much,  and you don't need to make reports, like this semester's practicums.

Surely, I'm not trying to complain. What kind of person complains after having the chances to study at an honored place. I'm only trying to draw a bold red line around this statement: THIS IS NOT A LAZY SEMESTER. IT'S TOUGH. IT'S HARD. BEWARE. It's my perception, and I don't want to get mingled up with other people's tendency to slow their pace and take a good bunch of rest.

I really need dope to stay up late and study, and honestly, to stay awake in classes.

Welcome back to med school

This might not have been a very fine holiday, realizing that it went totally biased from my earlier plans (not that my plans were anywhere near awesome either), but this doesn't even count as one I'd ever regret. It was tiring, exhausting, intriguing, heartbreaking, painstaking, leg-cramping, yet highly energetic, enthusiastic, awsomely productive and historically inspiring.

School starts in less than a week, and I've already shifted my mindset, preparing it for more and more studying for the following term. And the following term. And the following term. As I realize, life will never be any easier from now on. Welcome back to med school, sweetheart.

What do we have on the menu for the third semester?
Biochemistry
Physiology
GELS module
Biological Systems module
Medical Skills (OSCE)

Prepared yet?

Not at all. Didn't touch any book, didn't borrow any dictates, haven't bought any textbooks. Relying on my leftover knowledge from high school, which is just crumbs and crap. I'm actually pretty enthusiasted with the upcoming semester. Biochemistry has always been a fascination ever since I was in high school. I know it would be a bit (or lot?) more complicated now that I'm in med school. But seriously it wouldn't matter, I'm so ready, I know the consequences, this wasn't anywhere close to my childhood dreams, I wen't here by a fatal accident but I grew up and I'm up to face the hardships of life, and get out alive. I don't want to be weak, even if I went to war without high-end weaponry. 

I've learned not to ever wait and hope for a holiday. I redefined the word holiday, at least in my little dictionary of life. What usually happens when I'm in the middle of a frustrating semester with loads and loads of work and exam materials to gobble up, is that I wish it gets over as soon as possible. I perceive that I'm in the middle of a war and I may not have any fun in whatever forms. I figure out that this kind of thinking actually sums up the frustration, why don't I make fun out of the entire process.

An acquaintance said that there's no way studying could be fun if you only define it as building up stacks of information in your brain, only using it as an ammunition to shoot exam questions. So I thought I should define studying like building a castle of knowledge that hopefully lasts eternally. I should appreciate every process, every brick and wall and tower and ornament I've added to the castle, pretty much like making a house for a sim, hopefully it would be a bit more exciting. 

Any other wishes for the new semester?

I hope i can cease procrastinating;)

Let's just pray for the best. And fight the hell out for the rest.
Cheers.

The Equestrian

We spent roughly eight hours a day, five days a week, four weeks a month, twelve months a year for three years, three whole years of high school, breathing in the same room, working in gazillions of projects together. But somehow I only started to know him, just today.

He is bright. He has always been bright. His brain works at the speed of  light. He knows his maths and physics, and does his homework. He reads the papers and watches the news. He knows the world. He knows politics, economics, history, plus all their trivial facts. He knows bureaucracy. He's a teenager with knowledge, skills and experience like your father's. He drives like a racer. His passion is cars and dreams to devour them for a living, yet he ends up in medical school: Oh, we're gonna be spending another 4.5 years under the same roof.

It's been a year since we study together in the small 30-pupil sized classroom (compared to the current classroom which is 5 to 10 times larger). Nowadays we hardly talk, we barely meet. But just some time ago, he asked me to work with him. For a personal reason, I agreed to join his project, but I anticipated the horrors of working with him.

He used to be the most stubborn person who never failed to start an altercation with me. I always see him as an aggressive young man wearing a pair of twinkly round puppy eyes. He's thoughtful yet doubtful. Confident yet never willing to take the lead. Hardly makes decisions but argues over the ones I make. Enthusiastic but hardly ever committed.  I value him so much as a student, as a colleague, I trust him, I always put my hopes on his broad shoulders, but what's very likely to occur is he leaves them behind. His mind was too hard for me to read. Too hard to leave settled. Whatever I say, whatever I do is like setting a fire in an Australian bush in the midst of December. His persona leaves me questioning, sometimes crying over his painstaking choices of words, or his irritating intonation. Yes, of course The Equestrian has made me drop my tears. Several times.

I don't hate him. He's a good friend. Sometimes. Well yes he's irritating, he hurts me to the center of my heart. It's not an issue though. I just know that we don't go well together. Like an enzyme with the wrong substrate. It doesn't mean we're on war. We're at peace. I just know that it'd be better to stay away from him to avoid the quarrel.

That was a long time ago though. 

The Equestrian I perceive now, is somewhat different. He's not as aggressive as before.

His puppy eyes that I thought was fake, are actually true. We engaged in a small talk where he subtly but honestly stated his introversion. I was electrified. I thought he mislabeled himself. But then I realized that these years, I never really knew him to the core.

A Letter to Heaven

The world ages, our life ages, we age. 

Unpredictable possibilities happen, unthinkable incidents occur, unbelievable coincidences turn up like magic. Though as a matter of fact, it all has been planned: careful, detailed, and comprehensive, by The One and Only. 

These may raise us up to the zenith of sweet glory, or throw us down to the nadir of bitter sorrow. Leave us in a seemingly unstoppable laughter, or never ending days of mourning. When it happens, it just happens. When we set our mind to a quest for reasons, we may never find out why. 

Sometimes we wish to rewind our clock, flip back the pages of the calendar sitting on our desk, wishing we could travel back in time, to do the good deeds we never did, to erase the mistakes we ever made. We keep on wishing, even though we're highly alert that the past is unalterable. Even though we realize that the wheel of life only spins forward, towards the future.

Yet, the future is hidden behind a veil, somewhat like a one-way mirror, like that of an interrogation room we see in an American cop movie, nobody inside sees through. We seem like we know what we're facing, truth is, we never know what's behind.

The past is unalterable, the future is unpredictable. We only live in the present, to make the very best use of it, with lessons learned from the past, and enthusiasm to prepare for the future.

My dearest friend, we all know, you will never read this, and we will never meet again, yet I want to thank you so much for all the lessons you've once shared, and deliver my greatest apology, for never stopping by your side, not even to say hello and put a smile on your face. For now, the only word left is Goodbye.

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1434 Hijriyah

Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin

 :)

What does it feel like to be judged solely on your physical appearance?

#MLKJr

I grabbed me some books!

This holiday, I actually planned to start reading English classics again after a complete four-year hiatus! I started reading these when I was in middle school, borrowing from the school's library. Every week I'd borrow a book and read it with great fascination and curiosity. I find myself flipping over the pages at the speed of light, skipping my study sessions, staying up late just to reveal the plot and start over with a new title. 

I was fond of learning English by that time, and these novels not only helped me improve my vocabulary collections, it also gave me an insight towards the past :3 Not that they were all historical fiction - I do love this genre- but  the fact that we're living in the 21st century makes everything that happens in the plot considered history! What's more amusing than knowing how people live in the past centuries? ^____^ uh. Probably a large cone of chocolate ice cream, thank you.

So, since these are classics, and the authors have passed away a long time ago, the copyrights have expired and we could easily download these novels from a galore of sites in the world wide web. My first download was Arthur Conan Doyle's complete collection of Sherlock Holmes and the Jules Verne's adventurous science fictions. But seriously, reading a digital version was inconvenient to the maximum. So I came to the thought of actually buying these at a bookstore (Seems like this girl has got pots of ingots :p). Oh I have to tell you that I actually found a friend who pretty much has a similar passion towards books and reading :D She recommended an international bookstore, which I have once heard of but have never visited. I was extremely excited knowing that they sell imported books, and they're all not translated into Bahasa. U n f o r t u n a t e l y. . . It turns out that spending your money there would lead to bankruptcy- imported books remember. Well that's one bitter news. I don't recommend buying -real live- classics. But Google's always around to help :) here are some of my favorite sources:

• http://www.myharvardclassics.com/categories/20120212
• http://www.planetpdf.com/free_pdf_ebooks.asp
• http://www.classicreader.com/browse/1/title/

Happy aren't we :) ? 

Happy!  But now I'm happier since I gladly found a place where I can get these novels, without having to spend any money: The Library of Campus B! I have almost forgotten the concept of Libraries!! That's because Campus A's Lib wouldn't everrr have a collection of literature! (What for! They say med students only read anatomy atlases and medical textbooks. But they're the lame ones. Oops :p) It started out after a friend of mine asked me to make a description of Airlangga University for Medspin, and then I remembered this nearly forgotten information: We have a Faculty of Humanities, which has a department of English Literature. And what do English Literature students read? :D ahahahayy you know the answer!!!

So that particular day (July 3rd, based on this borrowing note from the lib)I rushed (by feet) to the B Lib - it was a cloudy afternoon, and it had just stopped raining, the roads and sidewalks (well there weren't literally any) were all wet, puddled and muddy. :( It was a really tough journey. Not a really long one. But it was so wet. When I arrived at the entrance gate of Campus B there was this really big puddle that I can't walk through, I almost gave up and I felt like turning back and going home. But I walked on, and managed to go to the other entrance. There were so many sidewalk shops and I actually bumped on a rope that supports their canvas shelters. On the head. It hurts so much >.< And people were looking at me and I felt really awkward. But then again I was so close. And I walked on.

And I reached the building. It was a big, three storey building :) painted purple (or was it gray), and so many hopes lay in it. I felt really good, but also anxious, worried that there might not be any hope for me to find the book I was longing to read. But I was more of excited and happy yayay :) it's a new place to explore anyway. There's always something interesting on an exploration. I went in and wandered around, going in and out of rooms, skimming the books, studying the patterns, asking around, trying to act (and sound) like a good student lol. Then there. I found the label literature: 009 Dewey Decimal system -whatever they call it. 

And There

On the third floor

On the southernmost row

A bookshelf labelled 009

Filled with E N G L I S H  C L A S S I C S 

(And other literature books)

And there were more and more shelves forming a corridor!

A corridor of books! What say you!!

I almost shouted. I almost jumped, I almost cried. I was so happy :D

They had everything!

Dickens, Bronte, Austen, R.L Stevenson. Mark Twain. Daniel Defoe. Hemingway. Rudyard Kipling. Robert Ludlum! Stephen King!! And a lot of other authors, some I hardly ever heard of, some very familiar names but never had the chance to read. Like Virginia Woolf, Anthony Trollope, Goethe, Tolstoy, George Orwell. It was just amazing.

I had to borrow something. I have a long holiday ahead, and I have to finish reading these before I graduate and probably not have a chance to borrow from here. I could only pick two books and fr a period of two weeks.That was a hard choice to make. I saw a galore of books, I wanted to read all of them! So I walked to and fro, up and down the corridors, picking books, skimming through, returning them, wow-ing all the time, wishing that I could just grab them all and bring 'em home.

Despite the excitement, I was actually unsure of what genre I wanted to read. The titles were so amazing, but then again, titles don't tell much about the story don't they. 
And I was questioning myself, what do I want to read?

After an hour of some tough consideration (seriously an hour), I picked up 1984 by George Orwell and The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway.
Reasons? a couple of days before, I stumbled upon an article in the web about the term Big Brother and how it emerged, and they talked about 1984 all the way, and George Orwell and his influence. I was quite amazed when I saw this title in one of the shelves. So I think I have to find out what the fuss was all about. And The Old Man and The Sea? It was just too popular that I wanted to know what was so great about the book. :)

And I have finished reading them, and they're already safe and sound back in those wooden shelves. I alredy switched them with another couple :) Kim (Rudyard Kipling) and Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)!! This time I read reviews on Goodreads so I don't waste too much time wandering around!

Reviews by me will be written as soon as . . . I have the time :/

The Renovation

This is an official day off! and I've been working quite a lot since dawn, cleaning up the house. We're having several renovations, re-paintings, fixing some leaking taps and broken faucets. It's been going on for half a month and everyone in the house is really wired, the house has been such a mess, and I haven't been quite helping since I'm rather busy lately  (sorry mom) But I officially declare that I won't be leaving the house for the rest of Ramadan for personal reasons.
it really is home time :) [except for Monday evening :p]
I've been hanging around in the house wearing this surgical mask as if I'm in the anatomy practicum room. *missed it soo much lol* But hey I need this protection from dust!! I am frustratingly allergic to dust!

Okay so what has happened around?
Frustration
Renovation = mess = dust, cement, sand etc. As I said I'm allergic to dust, super, hyper allergic towards dust! a single exposure of even a single part per million of this particle could make me blow seven greatest sneezes in the world. What makes it worse is the allies of sneezes that comes after: Stuffed, runny nose and watery eyes. Horribly devastating!! >.<

" After a dreadful beginning, and a weary process, there's always hope for a happy ending. "

My room turned purple
So what's with the choosing of purple?
it was really late one night in a hardware store, mom wants to buy some paint for the outer wall of our house, and she just offered us to paint our rooms too. I didn't want to take the offer since.. well.. what I want is just to finish the renovation asap, and I'm actually okay with my white room. But mom insisted to paint it, so I guess I just have to make the choice. Since I don't actually tempt to have my room painted, it took me hours to decide. I said red, but mom says it's too angry, i asked for blue, she says the kitchen's already blue, I picked brown, she says its an outdoor color >.< Okay I give up. It's all up to you, I don't have the least imagination of what color suits me, it's just a room, it's just a color. I then I left the paint counter feeling all the way confused, and took a walk around the store.
After a while of wandering around the store, I spotted a picture of a house painted purple and brown. I thought it looked good, a purple wall might suit the wooden furniture in my room. So I came back and picked a light purply color. My mom liked it, oh..I was unsure actually with purple, but huh, there's nothing else I can do. I cant take back my words. And at least it's something she said yes to. 

The word purple actually makes me feel silly. Reasons?
First. you know there are a great number of girls out there who just WORSHIPS this color. oh and I do think they are some of the silliest creatures on earth, no offense! Well I don't have the tiniest fascination towards a particular color, I think colors are just colors, they don't symbolize anything and i believe we should make our life colorful by not worshiping a single color. Such as:

" I'm a big fan of Manchester United and I'm all red, I wont even go for a swim in the pool cause the water looks blue under the sky and blue is the color I hate because Chelsea wears blue, so I'd probably swim if you drop some tomato ketchup into the pool until it looks red. "

I don't have a favorite color, even if i'm a fan of Chelsea, and even if I wear blue a lot, I put an Iron man theme on my Google chrome and it looks fiery and red and I like it. I don't want to be a color worshiper, especially purple. Really, these purple girls turn insane when they see the color and I just want to keep my sanity safe and sound. Now this is a true true story:

I had a chemistry teacher in high school, who is a purple lover girl ehm I mean woman, she's 50 something years old, and she.. okay, even when she's teaching she still responds to her senses of purple like when she saw my purple cell phone case.

" So students, the rate of a chemical reaction is affected by several fac... hey what a cute phone case, nice purple! "

(No it wasn't a sarcastic remark of seeing a student's cellphone in class. I wasn't using my phone in the class. It just sat on the desk doing nothing. I've always been a good girl :3 she knows)

Now what say you?

Second.
There is a myth, that purple is the color of widows. Blistering Barnacles!!! Now this is a contradiction towards the cutie purply girls I mentioned above. But this myth is really famous. Whenever somebody hears the word purple, their brain always associates it with the word widow. Being a widow is somehow seen as a negative thing around here idk .-.
But actually, the western society uhmm purple is known as a royal color *wow*, it is rare in nature, and in earlier times, hard to be extracted from nature.Thus only certain aristocrats could use this color for their attire. Well that relieves. By the way, fate is in The Almighty's hand, widow or not.

I never believed the power of colors, that color affects mood and emotion and such things, but I think I kinda realize it's true (well of course scientists out there have made researches. But this time I admit that I proved it myself). Purple is actually tranquilizing, they say, it is a balance of red and blue which are absolute contradictions. And honestly I do feel a lot calmer in this newly painted room. They say it lightens up our imagination too! I'm writing in room now, painted with a combination of light purple and white (plus checkered white-purple ceilings!! idk whose idea this was!!), and truly, ideas and words easily flow. This new room definitely brightens my mind up :) I like seeing this color :)

Have I turned into a person with a tone of light purple personality? With a combination of tranquility, balance and imagination?
I have never been someone like that, but I somehow wish to be.
We'll see.
Oh and one more thing: always listen to mom.

Meld Magazine

Meld Magazine: Melbourne's International Students News Website.
I truly forgot how I stumbled upon this website... wait, now I remember: Metcards! Again, I was browsing facts about Metcards, and Google led me to a post by Marcella Purnama on Meld Magazine, once again about the conversion of metcards to myki.

So, Meld Magazine is an online magazine run by students in Melbourne. How fascinating! You know I've once been an international student  :P (oops, my dad was, I think I didn't count lol) 
The writers, editors, photographers, web designers, videographers and every other staff are international as well as local students of Melbourne. Starting out in 2008, this magazine aimed to give international students a true insight on how life in Melbourne is really like.This way, international student candidates won't only obtain information from university promotions.

I think the articles in Meld Mag are extremely interesting, well-written, and actually a lot of fun, and it seems really helpful and informative. They cover up almost everything about Melbourne: lifestyle, cuisine, news, issues, reviews on films, music and festivals, education, youth programs, or anything else related to international students, regulations, fees and stuff. They tell you everything you need to know, every information, every hot issue, and also every fun facts about Melbourne. All in a youthful writing style, not too formal, yet mature indeed. Reading Meld Mag is so much fun, I learned a lot of new vocabularies and recognize different writing styles :)  And of course, my all time longing of seeing Melbourne is a little bit relieved.

To be honest, the fact that these students could produce excellent pieces of writings -which is in fact not in their own mother language- and manage it in an online magazine pretty much amuses me! I feel really inspired to learn from them and become a writer myself. They're actually opening up chances to join their team. I really wish I could join Meld one day [Of course I have to find a way to study in Melbourne first (y)]. But lets start with improving my English proficiency and writing skills. Oh and I know a good way to begin: visit Meld Mag and read!

Scarlet

I adore this color.
http://www.crayola.com/explore-colors/scarlet.aspx

It reminds me of The Scarlet Pimpernel, a beautiful novel by Baroness Emmuska Orczy, one of my all-time favorite classics :)

AU!

Airlangga University is one of Indonesia’s leading state universities located in Surabaya, thecountry's second largest city, as well as a major seaport and commercial center in the eastern region of Indonesia.

Airlangga University has been known as one of Indonesia's top five Universities with thirteen faculties, ranging from basic science, medicine, and social sciences, which are located in three campuses, 

Campus A accommodates the Faculty of Medicine and the Faculty of Dentistry. The campus is comprised mainly of buildings built in the Dutch colonial era. The buildings remain upright, still conserved until today and noted as one of Surabaya’s heritage buildings.

Campus B hosts the Faculty of Pharmacy as well as the faculties concentrating in the social science fields which are the Faculty of Law, Faculty of Economy and Business, Faculty of Psychology, Faculty of Social and Political Sciences and the Faculty of Humanities. In Campus B, there also reside many of the main institutional support units for the university, such as the Central Library, Post Graduate Programs, Center for Health Care, Center for Quality Assurance, Institute for Educational Studies and Development, as well as a religious facility.

While in newest established campus C reside the rest of the life science faculties which are The Faculty of Science and Technology, Faculty of Veterinary Medicine, Faculty of Public Health, Faculty of Fisheries and Marine, and The Faculty of Nursing). The Rectorate building, the studentcenter, and the university’s convention center are also located in campus C.

To encourage educational and public service purposes, Airlangga University has alsodeveloped several educational and research facilities such as The Arlangga University Hospital and The Institute of Tropical Diseases, both located in Campus C. A Medical Education Center has also been built to encourage a better educational environment for the Faculty of Medicine in Campus A

The Institute of Tropical Disease is a research institute dedicated to developing researches, counseling and Laboratory services on tropical diseases including Malaria, Dengue Fever, Tuberculosis, Leprosy and many others. The Institute of Tropical Disease is equipped with up to twenty Biosafety level-3 laboratories.

Airlangga University started out as a medical school, built by the Dutch colonial government to educate young Javanese to become health experts. Itwas named NIAS (Nederlandsch Indische Artsen School). And since the year 1913, medical education has been conducted in Surabaya in Jl. Kedungdoro38, Surabaya. In 1923 the building was moved to what is now Campus A of Airlangga University. In 1928, a school of dentistry is founded, better known as STOVIT (School Tot Opleiding van Indische Tandarsten). In 1948, Airlangga University became a branch of The University of Indonesia with the Faculty of Medicine and Faculty of Dentistry. And in 1954, joined by the Faculty of Law which was previously a branch of Gadjah Mada University, Airlangga University was officially established by the government of Indonesia, coinciding the celebration of the 9^th Heroes’ day

By this year, it has been a century since medical education first started out in Surabaya.

A Seemingly Failing Holiday

I have at last finished up my journey in the second semester of med school :)
How's everything been? I cant guarantee flying colors since I haven't seen all my grades- the system's just keeping it a secret from me with no reason- but at least I didn't have to take any remedial. thank goodness.
It was rather tough, I honestly have to admit. Since the very beginning of the semester, I was evidently aware of having to study every single minute of my life in the second semester, and it freaked the hell outta me. But once again I have to admit that I didn't actually do that: Sitting still on my desk and concentrate on studying, staying up late, waking up early, all the study programs I made, the timetables I sticked on my bedroom walls- i planned them all, but it failed. I didn't remember the last time I studied. I didn't remember studying in the middle of the night. It was freaking weird. I watched a movie the night before one of my anatomy exam, I played with my sister a lot, I blogged, I read other nonsense in the middle of the exam week. But I survived. I guess it was all fate.It was fate. It came from my prayers, and my parent's and I have to pay a lot for it. For all the goodness Allah has given me.

So I planned to study again this holiday. I have started reading my anatomy books again, that I did on the first day of my unoffficial dholiday.

But circumstances cancel out my holiday plans.

tbc
July 9th. 2.46 PM. GMT+7.

0000:00:00:00:00:00

Ever seen this scene in a movie?
I'll give you ten seconds to recall before you blast. No way. I'm kidding.
It's from In Time! A 2011 sci-fi action movie starring Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried and the bluey gooey eyed chameleon Cillian Murphy.

The movie was, fair enough, thrilling, entertaining. imdb rated it sixty-something percent, Rotten Tomatoes rated it thirty-something percent. I myself, have only watched halfway through. Not that I wasn't interested, but I actually watched it on the evening before my anatomy exam  and it sent me right back to my books, freaking me out...

Can you imagine only having twenty five years to live your life normally, and the second right after your twenty fifth birthday, the clock on your arm starts ticking backwards like a countdown timer, showing you your remaining lifetime. Not just that it ticks backwards like a countdown timer, you'll also have to buy your daily needs with your remaining lifetime, like buying a cup of coffee in a coffee shop would reduce your lifetime by ten minutes. Now what if, after a day's work, you wanted to go home to meet your son and "share some time", but you only had an hour and a half left while the bus fare was suddenly raised to two hours for a ride home, and walking home takes two hours. Doesn't that mean you'd have to run home? This is what I call running for life.

Time's too precious to waste.

Don't. Waste. Your. Remaining. Time.

Welcome to ... [drums rolling] our new header!

And my header is done! Hooray!!
To be honest, this blog was previously named Autumn Scribbles since I fancy soouu much the season autumn, but I couldn't find a pretty enough autumn themed header so I tried to make one myself. Well I actually found this reddish orange header with a crumpled paper on it and I decided to overlay it with some autumn scribble text but then I thought that it sort of didn't match, so well here I go, I thought it would suit better if I call it scribbles on a crumpled paper. A bit. . Straight, right to the point but ay, truthful anyway. And I write thoughts, tales, and much much more trash trash trash [ha-ha] but I'll surely leave trashiness behind. Then I found these critter images which are so adorably cute!! Uh! It adds to the crumpled-paper-been-thrown-to-the-trashcan accent :3. All crumpled and germy, full of creepy crawly critters lol. What say you?
And last, but definitely never the least, I would like to deliver my greatest appreciation to Picmonkey <3 which was a real big help in making this header! So it's a web based picture editing app, easy to use, simple yet rich in features: highly recommended! Oh and definitely they use ridiculous forms of language in their dialog boxes. You gotta try, you just gotta try and laugh out loud at some point!

Neon

Something went wrong with my camera when I tried to capture this. But it turned out awesome out of nowhere! Like abstract paint blobs!
In case you haven't realized, these are my collection of metcards :)

Metcards!

So metcards are these.. cards you use when you travel around using Melbourne's mass transport: Trams, Buses, and Trains. I've got some twenties of them. My family travelled more than that for sure when we were in Melbourne, but ayy.. Dad's probably thrown away his. These metcards are 2000-2002 issues. Note the Australian Open Metcard, it was issued during the 90th Australian Open Tournament, 14-27 January 2002. The regular front design is the blue one, the others are 'special' ones issued during particular events in Melbourne.

They're retired now, replaced by a newer system called myki since a couple of years ago I guess. I couldn't believe that the controversy leading to the transition into myki started in 2001. So um, Wikipedia said that the machines weren't functioning and et cetera. Well in 2001 I was in Melbourne! I was so happy with all the trams, and buses, and trains they have, I thought Melbourne's transportation was perfectly flawless! Okay, we have to consider that I lived in Indonesia before, and transportation here is indescribably chaotic (thus I won't describe more). So, yeah,  I couldn't imagine any other transportation system better than what Melbourne had by that time!

I'm pretty glad that I actually kept some Metcards and brought them home, knowing that they've turned into antiques now. An article on theage.com.au even called them "a piece of Melbourne history"!
So yeah, metcards are no longer wandering around the roads and streets of Melbourne, but we all have a place for them in our heart, our memories, and surely a cozy drawer in our house.

I <3 metcards

And, I'm looking forward to actually visit Melbourne again (in whatever ways) and check out that myki!
A Melbournian I once encountered on omegle stated that he preferred metcards better than myki ._. We shall see...

By the way, I'd probably consider writing more about Melbourne, what she has, what she's like, and how I felt when I was there. I really hope one day we can turn Surabaya and other cities in Indonesia into a wonderful place like Melbourne! Fyi, Melbourne is named World's Most Livable City 2012 by The Economist Intelligence Unit! And this was her second achievement after last year! The judgements are based on 30 factors across six categories: stability, culture, environment, infrastructure, healthcare, and education. I will surely give you a picture of how incredible Melbourne was 10 years ago! I just can't imagine how the city has grown in a decade, so I'd probably do a little research before making a comparison. We'll catch up soon :)

We have no reason to be lonely

He is closer to us than our jugular vein.

The Zenith of Boredom #1

It's only hours until my anatomy exam, but I'm still standing at the zenith of boredom, when reading exam materials feels suffocating. I at last found myself reading some of the best short stories American literature could ever offer. I wouldn't call me a newbie in English Literature, having read a good amount of English classics in middle school, from Dickens to Twain, not forgetting the Bronte sisters, but it's always time to improve. A four year pause in reading has taken its toll on me. It's definitely time to read again, replenishing this thirst of literature, getting my mind wandering somewhere to the past centuries, or simply adding some new vocabs. Once I'm done with these hectic weeks of exam, i'll head to a bookstore and find me some classics. Well in case they don't have classics, let's just hope I can find Jeffery Deaver or Stephen King, or anything English at the least.

And I Keep On Procrastinating

Didn't you just say you'll start studying?
Yeah I did
And your exam is in how many days from today?
umm two.
So have you started studying yet?
Nope.
What did you do instead?
A lot, of other, things.
Such as?
Idk, I opened you tube.
What were you hoping to find?
Some fun! I was bored!
So did you find fun?
Yeah sort of. No, yes I did.
Which was?
I watched an episode of Angela Anaconda, Hey Arnold!, and, that's all. I wanted to look up for Daria and Rugrats but my mom was home early.
That's what you call fun?
Yeah, Angela was cool! :D When I was a kid I always thought that cartoon's weird. But you know, it's not that bad actually, she really has a personality lol.
And you're proud of wasting your time watching Ms. Anaconda instead of studying?
Well I missed her. I was thinking about the cartoons I used to watch when I was a kid. I miss my childhood. I really do.

What a random crap --"

a man inside

This term's final exam is in two days. Well, I have to admit that I haven't been studying hard this time. Not my kind of studying hard, I played too much, I watched tv too much, I slept too much, I blogged- naah not much :p

I just can't focus on studying. and suddenly I came up with this

Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. 

He's a toy, dressed in a lime green and purple astronaut suit. Wouldn't life be fun if I could play around with him all day?

He reminded me of my childhood memories, then I somehow wished I could stop growing up. I wanted to be a kid forever, like Andy, playing around with heaps of toys, or like any other kid, leaving my responsibilities behind, fading away to a universe of childish happiness, beyond the galaxies of gleeful laughter, colorful skies, all too joyful to resist. I want to live the way  they live. The way they don't have to think much about anything. The way they could be acting silly, doing things they want to do, with no one ever wanting to blame them for any mistake they did.

And nothing's gonna happen, nobody will punish me, no guilt will be felt. . . if I don't study.

But look, even Buzz has resposibilities, he's a commander, he fights aliens and things, he's got wings, and buttons, and an armed suit, and fighting skills, he's even got a quote:

to infinity and beyond,

says he. Even this toy, is a man inside, a highly motivated one.

Now why am I wishing to leave my responsibilities behind :\

Thinkthing.

A couple of days after my birthday, which was March 17th, my little sister gave this little notebook, with a light green cover, yellow colored paper, as a birthday present. Overall it's pretty .. Pretty, sophisticated, a kind of thing I'd never spend my money on lol

I never knew what she was up to, since she always misbehaved. She's always been a typical annoying little sister- if I were Daria, she's definitely Quinn from top to toe. Oh bother -__-

But anyway Quinn, thanks for the cute little present

And I'm saying it's cute, there's a picture of a white kitten wearing some red ribbon on her neck, peeping through a window on the cover.

But what  interests me the most is it's brand, it's called Thinkthing.
What on earth. Exactly at the time when I decided to start thinking and writing.

I used it as a book to write my thoughts, quotes that I made, some little opinion on what goes on through life
I guess I'd just say, well I have nothing to say.
I just feel that it somehow relieves that I started writing in it months ago. And I figured out that I did the right thing, I found some quotes that now really help in some of my worst times.

In conclusion, thanks a lot Quinn.

Autumn

I decided to like Autumn.
It's red and breezy, though a little bit chilly

But it's the time when my birthday's almost there - 
Surely that's only when I'm in the southern hemisphere!

I decided to like Autumn.
It's red and pretty, though falling leaves turn my backyard messy

But I get to step on them and hear them crisply shouting!
While I hop hop on them undoubtedly giggling!

How could Autumn become so amazing!

Thought #1

This post is an effect of the discovery of myself as an INTP -based on the MBTI test. For thou who haven't ever heard of this subject, I'll explain it in another post. Or simply Google it up, in case you're frustratingly impatient to find out. Anyway, to put it simple, it's a kind of personality test that would classify you into one outta 16 different personalities.

Well, actually i've been an INTP- call me Miss Analytical Thinker- ever since I was born! But trust me, I had just realized it, I had just realized that I think a lot about a lot of subjects in a lot of moments for a lot of times! [definitely sorry for the inefficiency of diction, but i had to emphasize at some point!]. And, from now on, I will manage to always write down, type down, or (in case I'm running out of ink) record any form of spontaneous, abstract thoughts and ideas that happens pop in my mind into common, humane verbal language. Hoping I myself could be a notable thinker dude one day, like these other INTPs:

• Abraham Lincoln
• Albert Einstein
• Charles Darwin
• Rene Descartes
• Socrates
• Marie Curie
• Thomas Jefferson

 So here I go. Note this. It's my first official 'soon to be written' idea:

I believe in individual variations, that no single human in this world is created the same. The vast combination of different genes in their alternative form of alleles, plus the variety of external, environmental stimuli that they encounter makes it absolutely improbable to resemble each other.

It makes everyone unique, I am unique, you are unique. I have my own specialties, You have your own, They have their own!

And for me it simply means that no one should say things like "if he could do that, then why cant you!". I would absolutely define that as a form of violation towards human rights. It depicts an intimidating effort to hinder someone in being himself. Well if you wanted to make him a better person, you should encourage them, in an introspective, inspirational way or make them learn from 'perceived better' others and not simply duplicate them, compete them with no rational reason. It restrains creativity, uniqueness, personal variance! It even ruins their self confidence, happiness, and their satisfaction of life!

In conclusion, I would like to state, once again, I strongly believe that a person should not be compared to anyone, other than himself in the past.

I strangle hard to be myself, I don't want to be compared. I'm unique. I am inspired by Lincoln, Einstein, Descartes, but I'll simply be me. I'm an introverted thinker, thoughtful to the max. And I'm building my verbal skills, this thinker would never be noticed if she couldn't put up her ideas into understandable forms of language.
Comments, critics, ++ praises are welcome :P